Growing an Intimate Relationship
Are you married now? Have you thought about being married? Do you ever wonder how you can have a lasting marriage? Do you want to re-marry but are unsure it’s right?
Think about how much work you put into preparing for a career. Weddings, as well, often take a large amount of planning and preparation.
Think about what happens after the honeymoon, though. Have you simply planned your wedding, or have you prepared for your future? Isn’t it interesting that when it comes to your marriage, preparation is often not part of the picture.
Preparation and education are vital to a lasting marriage. Here are some important steps to explore and share with your partner before and after your wedding:
- Understand your own values. Explore each other’s values such as truthfulness, trustworthiness, integrity, etc.
- Be responsible for your words and actions. Communicate clearly and often with each other.
- Develop a caring friendship with your partner. Learn each other’s likes and dislikes, such as foods, entertainment, recreation, etc. Know that it is okay that not every interest includes both partners.
- Ask yourself if you have the ability to be a compatible and harmonious couple. Can you laugh at yourself and each other’s idiosyncrasies?
- Consider if you both have the same values about family. Communicate your expectations. Do you want to build connections with each other’s family? Do you want to have children together? Discuss this in advance.
- Explore and discuss how you will manage money. Many couples do not discuss this and later have challenges around how to spend, how to save, etc. If you work this out in advance, you will be friends. Money is the #1 reason for arguments in a marriage.
- What are your sex role expectations? Become clear about them and communicate them to your partner.
By asking each other the above questions, a couple can establish a strong spiritual and emotional bond. The more you communicate, the more likely you will feel heard and understood. Knowing that you share similar values, the stronger your bond will be, the happier your relationship will be, and the probability of it lasting greater.