The Path of Relationships
We often believe that relationships are supposed to be permanent, yet loss and grieving is a theme in our lives. Somewhere along our path someone dies or must be left behind. Loss of a relationship plays a significant part in all of our lives. Because many of us define ourselves by our relationships; we believe something is wrong with us if we do not keep our friends for life. What is true is that change is a constant and that relationships come and go from our lives. When someone dies, leaves us, moves away or becomes estranged, it may be a double loss: the loss of the relationship itself, and the loss of the relationship as a source of our identity, of who we think we are.
If you have been the dependent partner in a relationship you will find yourself after the loss of a relationship, through divorce or death, forced to undertake tasks that you never dreamed of. It is through these tasks that a new sense of self will evolve. You may have a new career or the education you always wanted but did not have time for.
Whenever we are forced to let go of something or someone a psychological death occurs and we need to grieve for our loss. Death comes in many forms, it may be an aspect of ourselves, our youthful qualities, our health, or a dream that is no more. Or it may be a relationship that is ended by death or distance. With every death and rebirth something of value has grown inside us. How we react to the constant changes that occur in our lives through our relationships is probably the only aspect of a relationship that we have some control over. Shifting your thinking from a negative to a positive is an excellent way to change your view of the things you see and feel negatively about and look at them in a more positive light.