Core Beliefs and Relationship Choices
What are Core Beliefs and How Do they Effect Our Relationship Choices?
Attachment to another person rather than a deep loving sharing from the heart is often what we form instead of healthy relationships. This is due to our core beliefs.
What are our core beliefs? Our core beliefs are unconsciously formed as young children. They teach us that only if we merge and meld into our partners can we have a truly intimate satisfying relationship.
Most of us are raised on fairy tales that teach us to believe that the correct way to be in a relationship is to merge and “be one.” Unfortunately, it is just this process that can cause the demise of our relationships. Often an internal struggle occurs because we have lost sight of ourselves. In reaction to this we realize that we do not know how to find ourselves and so we become angry with our partner. It’s as if we unconsciously believe that they are to blame for our loss of self. As if they gobbled us up rather than us wanting to merge and meld with them in order to reach our fantasy of what fulfillment is.
Sometimes we try to attach ourselves to our partners in order to feel better about ourselves; or sometimes it is to fill a void inside of us. Maintaining our boundaries with our partners will offer us a more interesting relationship; as we will have ourselves to share with our partners throughout the relationship rather than just at the beginning. Often relationships fail because of these unconscious core beliefs – that to have a loving fulfilling relationship we must form unhealthy attachments.
Sharing who we are is the most wonderful gift we have to offer another; when we merge into another we lose this… So ask yourself what your core beliefs are and what you are willing to do to act in loving ways towards your partner.