Tag: meditate

A Case for Loving-Kindness Meditation

We’ve all been there—we’re having a conversation that we don’t necessarily want to have and we begin to feel defensive.  Our mind may start racing or our palms may start sweating. Anger starts rising up hot on our necks, and we’ve hit the point of either shutting down and tuning out or getting upset. Usually it’s with someone that we’ve been down this road with before.

It’s true, right? We all find ourselves falling into the cycle of washing and rinsing out one issue, yet, before we’ve even finished ironing it out, we could already be facing more trouble from the same source.  Our immediate response may be to act out of frustration or anger instead of a calm, collected place. That’s were loving kindness-meditation comes in.

As Harvard Business Review explains it:

“To understand why we get clumsy in difficult relationships, consider that habitual patterns of thinking and behavior are like the deep grooves that get carved into a dirt road by the repeated passage of tires. The deeper the grooves, the more likely we are to get stuck in them. This is why we tend to have the same argument repeatedly with certain people, and find ourselves unable to free ourselves from the familiar script. Loving-kindness meditation improves our ability to see those grooves more clearly, to lift ourselves out of them, and to intentionally choose a better, more effective pathway.”

The key is to assuage this issue before it arises internally, and we can only do that by being cool and collected—and most importantly, comfortable within ourselves.  As HBR notes, “without self-compassion it’s hard to find compassion for others.”

Now—start the practice by cultivating someone in your mind that you’re close to. One that loves, honors, and respects you for who you are. They will be the guided thought for your meditation.

Create a mantra based on that idea—and as you’re beginning to feel frustrated with a tough conversation, turn to that to help you make it through. Channel love within your mind and allow it to come through your thoughts and into your words.

Next, set your intentions on the person you’re having the conflict with—Affirmations you can use to assist in setting your intentions into compassion are:

Om, Compassion

You are love, as am I

Compassion is all

The Universe loves you

As you continue this mantra of love for yourself and love for others—you are beginning to set yourself free from the pain of difficult relationships. Changing your heart space to let light in instead of harboring darkness.

Once we find peace in ourselves, the conflicts that we have with others will seem less important to our days, and soon our lives. We learn that through self-control we can create our own existence of harmony instead of discord.

Our lives are short and precious; too short to allow others to negatively impact our days. Give yourself the opportunity to flourish through positive energy; you will change in many incredible ways.

Take some time for yourself. 

A Case for Meditation


Imagine all of the things you think about throughout the day. In the course of your waking hours, process, for a second, how many different thoughts must go through your head. Now consider, our technologically-dependent society where we’re constantly stimulated from morning until night— digital devices, many times nearby even while asleep — we’re always devoting our energies outward, particularly in helping make our decisions in our day-to-day tasks and endeavors. With so much time spent looking outside for inspiration, it’s quite easy to forget that we can, and should, look inwards— isn’t it?

According to Pema Chodron, the most popular American-born Buddhist teacher, in an article for Shambhala Sun, Reasons to Meditate, here are five reasons in favor of meditation; but first, like anything of great value, unleashing the potential of these principals requires much patience and practice. Most importantly, being kind to yourself, whether you’re starting a routine for the first time or picking one up after a time away from practicing regularly.

Wherever you fall, it’s paramount to remember that each time we choose to sit and reflect quietly, even for just a few moments, it is a brand new, singular experience— the willingness to take this precious time is a testament to your desire to create or restore order in your life.

Chodron explains, “If we can train ourselves through meditation to be more open and more accepting toward the wild arc of our experience, if we can lean into the difficulties of life and the ride of our minds, we can become more settled and relaxed amid whatever life brings us.”

Not only does meditation help establish a sense of order for the continual chaos of daily life, Chodron says it also “gives us the opportunity to have an open, compassionate attentiveness to whatever is going on. The meditative space is like the big sky—spacious, vast enough to accommodate anything that arises.”

With that perspective in mind, Chodron moves on to her list:

1. Steadfastness: If we can train ourselves through meditation to be more open and more accepting toward the wild arc of our experience, if we can lean into the difficulties of life and the ride of our minds, we can become more settled and relaxed amid whatever life brings us.”

2. Clear Seeing:“Meditation helps us clearly see ourselves and the habitual patterns that limit our life. You begin to see your opinions clearly. You see your judgments. You see your defense mechanisms. Meditation deepens your understanding of yourself.”

3. Courage: “Meditation is a transformative process, rather than a magic makeover in which we doggedly aim to change something about ourselves. The more we practice, the more we open and the more we develop courage in our life.”

4. Attention: When you practice meditation, getting your cover blown is just as embarrassing as it ever was, but you’re glad to see where you’re still stuck because you would like to die with no more big surprises.

5. No Big Deal: “Meditation helps us cultivate this feeling of no big deal, not as a cynical statement, but as a statement of humor and flexibility. You’ve seen it all, and seeing it all allows you to love it all.”

With these five mindful meditations to focus on, now is your chance to try again, or for the very first time— allow yourself the opportunity to reflect on all aspects of your life, frustrations and joys alike. ‘

When you seek what you most desire from within your own self; you will soon start to discover nuances and patterns in many of the decisions you make; opening brand new doors to happiness and peace in everyday life. 

Hope you had a truly tranquil Tuesday!

“Every day, think as you wake up, today I am fortunate to be alive, I have a precious human life, I am not going to waste it. I am going to use all my energies to develop myself, to expand my heart out to others; to achieve enlightenment for the benefit of all beings. I am going to have kind thoughts towards others, I am not going to get angry or think badly about others. I am going to benefit others as much as I can.”                   –Dalai Lama XIV

Have you practiced gratitude today? End your day with some mindful meditation; you earned this time to pause and reflect!