We oftenbelieve that relationships are supposed to be permanent, yet loss and grieving
is a theme in our lives. Somewhere along
our path someone dies or must be left behind.
Loss of a relationship plays a significant part in all of our lives.
Because many of us define ourselves by our relationships, we believe something
is wrong with us if we do not keep our friends for life.
What is
true, is that change is a constant and that relationships come and go from our
lives. When someone dies, leaves us, moves away or becomes estranged, it may be
a double loss: the loss of the relationship itself, and the loss of the
relationship as a source of our identity, of who we think we are.
If you
have been the dependent partner in a relationship you will find yourself after
the loss of a relationship, through divorce or death, forced to undertake tasks
that you never dreamed of. It is through
these tasks that a new sense of self will evolve. You may have a new career or
the education you always wanted but did not have time for—the future is up to
you, and you can make it bright.
Whenever
we are forced to let go of something or someone a psychological death occurs
and we need to grieve for our loss. Death comes in many forms; it may be an
aspect of ourselves, our youthful qualities, our health, or a dream any
attribute that is no more. Or it may be
a relationship that is ended by death or distance. With every death and rebirth
something of value has grown inside us.
How we
react to the constant changes that occur in our lives through our relationships
is probably the only aspect of a relationship that we have some control over.
Shifting your thinking from a negative to a positive is an excellent way to
change your view of the things. When you find yourself beginning to think
negatively, try to approach it in a more positive light.