As the holidays begin, I’m very often asked, how do I know if I am giving enough? And then, am I giving the right thing? Who do I want to give to? Who do I have to give to? Can I afford to give? The list goes on forever.
At the heart of these questions is usually fear in some form— it’s as if by giving, in someway, we believe that we may be disappointing others or letting them down—and, many times, in turn, disappoint ourselves. What if we don’t have enough time, or the right words? What if I can’t provide monetarily for someone in need?
There are many ways we can give of ourselves. Find the one that makes you feel good in your heart; creating a safe, loving, and positive feeling about who you are and the choices that you make.
Receiving from others is also on people’s minds during the holiday season more than any other time of year. Most people look forward to receiving gifts; yet the act of accepting gifts from others is difficult for many.
Feelings of vulnerability are often present when we receive. We may not have been able to provide the same caliber of gift—or we may feel that our friends or loved ones really don’t understand us by the gifts they choose. We want to be gracious; but the immediate pressure of the situation makes it difficult to navigate at times.
Try this lovely ritual to assist you in allowing yourself to both give and receive freely in your life:
- Light a white candle
- Sit in front of it for 5 minutes, watching it letting your mind float
- Wonder about the 1st 3 times you received something. Notice how you felt, what you saw/heard?
- Now notice what you feel/think about those 3 times now.
- What are your challenges with giving? Receiving?
Allow yourself to enjoy the holidays by being able to express yourself openly and without guilt or frustration now and into the New Year.