Tag: Life Coach

The Happenstance of Happiness

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Happiness may be the most elusive of all ideals. We’re taught from a very young age that happy is good and sad is bad; we’re programmed to believe that without achieving ‘happiness’ we’ll be void of anything worthwhile in life.  And finding it, sometimes, can feel like a tall order.

First of all, how do we even begin to define happiness? Well, that’s deeply personal and different for each of us. There are many books written about how to reach happiness, listing different thoughts on the how. Some list characteristics of happy people. A client mentioned Sonja Lyubomirsky, who does this in her book “The How of Happiness,” which she touts as a “scientific approach to getting the life you want.” However I am not certain I would agree with her, as happiness is an emotion. What I do agree with is that some people are happier than others. This is due to the way they view the world and how they use language to shape their thoughts. Using positive self-talk, you can shift from negative to positive feelings, therefore achieve a happier state of being.

Some of Sonia’s ideas about people who are happier that I do agree with are as follows:

  • • They devote time to their family and friends, nurturing and enjoying those relationships.
  • • They practice optimism when imagining their futures.
  • • They are not immune to the vicissitudes of life. However they are very aware that change is constant, and don’t dwell on misfortune.

The keywords in the characteristics make sense—devotion, optimism, resilience—they’re all powerful attributes that contribute to positive outcomes. When we focus on what’s possible through positive thought and action, we’re training our brain to be more proactive in creating ‘happy’ solutions.

As I think about happiness, I know it to be an emotion that is created by a combination of thought and action. You are probably aware of the actions you take that make you happy. Consider increasing how often you take those actions. Also, as you become more and more aware of your thought processes practicing positive self-talk will become a habit.

When or if you are feeling sad, you can use this exercise to bring you back into happiness. Sit quietly in nature, focus your intention upon your heart and ask yourself what makes me feel happy…listen quietly as the answer may come in the sound of a voice, the passing of a squirrel, the falling of a leaf. As you regain your center the language of your thoughts will shift into positive ones and you will experience happiness again.


Find Your Personal Push Up

Estella Gong wasn’t happy with herself; feeling ‘uncomfortable with her body’ and ‘scrawny,’ she decided to not be discouraged by her dilemma— instead she turned her self-perceived problem into a passion to become her best self— one push up at a time.

She embarked on a 100 day push up challenge and translated the incredible transformation in a time-lapsed video for ‘Give it 100’; an organization inspiring people to practice something and document it for 100 days.

The supreme sense of accomplishment at the end of the transformation is acutely apparent; a moment of pure joy— the moment where every second of pain served a purpose— a place where the next goal seems significantly more achievable than it was just a second before.

Many of us yearn to master a craft or fulfill a desire that lives deep within us; we want to learn yoga or play guitar. We want to learn to meditate; be a writer; donate our time and resources to others in a different part of the world.

These are dreams that we’d love to see come to fruition, but we rarely give ourselves the opportunity to even attempt to accomplish them. Many times, these ‘secondary’ feelings get pushed aside for what we believe are more important, immediate activities and concerns.

Think about it; do you have a personal push up? What is it? Examine your heart’s desire and key in on that one activity or skill that you’d love to try to master. Have you got yours? Great. Now get to it. Give yourself the opportunity to find the time and spend even just a few minutes each day to achieve a small victory.

Videoing your progress may not be for you and that’s fine! Keep your progress personal in a journal or jot it down each day in a notebook— creating accountability and seeing consistent progress will help you keep motivated. Share your journey with a family member or a friend to help you stay on track, too, support is key!

Everyone has their own path to success. However you choose to go about achieving this monumental milestone of creating your own slice of happiness; stick with it and enjoy each moment of the journey. Remember, each day is an opportunity for you to get better and better, to reach higher and higher. Discover the hidden gifts deep within you; it’s time to set them free!


Are You Limiting Yourself?

What you choose to believe will dictate many facets of your life. Society has a lot to say to us, about us. It likes to tell us we’re too small to make a difference in the world or we don’t have what it takes to be what we want to be. And you know what? Many of us believe these societal lies – and once we believe something, it becomes a part of who we are; it is grafted into the patterns of our thinking.

What are your beliefs about yourself?

In this blog post, I’d like to identify some common, restrictive beliefs and show you how to go from limited to limitless. Let’s get started…

Restrictive Belief #1 – ‘I’m too small to make a difference in this world.’

While it is true that you are just one person, when you believe that you do not have the power within yourself to positively impact the world around you, you become a carrier of negative energy – in other words, you become limited. Limiting yourself in this way leaves no room for abundant thinking.

APPLICATION- Want to kick start abundance in your own mind?:

Begin with gratitude. Think gratefully of the positive qualities you do possess: ‘I’m thoughtful, empathetic, smart, educated, strong…etc, and I’m thankful for these attributes.’ Through this exercise, you will have opened the door to making a difference, and your possibilities will become limitless.

Restrictive Belief #2 – ‘I’m not courageous enough.’

Nelson Mandela once said, “I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” Okay, so you’re afraid to do something. Maybe you’re trying to overcome your fear of switching careers or starting a family.

APPLICATION- Want to overcome your fear?:

Acknowledge it. Look it straight in the eye and don’t be the first to look away. You see, once you sit with whatever it is that causes you to be afraid, that thing becomes less scary, less powerful. Through this exercise, you will become the victor, and in Mandela’s wise words, you will “triumph over it.”

Restrictive Belief #3 – ‘I don’t have enough time in a day.’

Time is a funny thing in that when we’re experiencing hardship, it seems to go on forever, yet when we’re having fun, time flies by. Rarely does it feel like we have just the right amount of time to accomplish everything on our to do list.

APPLICATION- Want to feel like you have enough time?:

Create it. Don’t let your looming deadlines and the ticking of the clock dictate your daily life; instead, rise an hour earlier and get ahead. You may even find incredible rejuvenation in rising early to experience some well-deserved quiet time. Take the reigns and set your own rules. Remember, you’re the one wearing the watch; it’s not wearing you!

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Take a few moments to ask yourself what you believe. You might be surprised to see what comes up. Open yourself to a limitless mindset and let abundance flow in.