Tag: Shifting Your View

Welcoming Change

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We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.

– Joseph Campbell

It’s natural to take comfort in the things we know—even if they aren’t best for us or we know they aren’t working for us—but keep in mind that we often limit what is possible when we avoid or resist change. Sometimes, better things—things we didn’t dare hope for, anticipate, or imagine can come into our lives when we create room for them. That means a necessary first step is a shift from our old way of thinking into a new one.

In this post, Support yourself through transitions by changing your thoughts, I shared how to shift your beliefs and perceptions when we face transitions and changes. Most people acknowledge that change is a part of life and something we “have to deal with.” However, what if we were able to welcome change?

Staying the same takes more effort than allowing change. Have you ever decided you didn’t want things to change and did everything in your power to resist it? Was that easy to do, or hard? Did you succeed in keeping the status quo? Most likely, it took a great deal of energy and time—not to mention stress—to fight the change, and resulted in change anyhow.

Not convinced that allowing change is something that can come naturally to you? Think of it this way: We are all made up of molecules. Molecules are always in a state of change. Therefore, whether or not we are aware of it, WE are always in a state of change. If we are in a constant state of flux, then change is one of our instinctual qualities. Can you see that change can be an ally instead of an enemy? My post, Shifting Your Perspective to Relieve Stress, Anxiety, and Anger, is an additional resource to support you in welcoming change.

We may experience fear and stress as we are forced to adjust to new circumstances and the chance that we will experience what we see as failure or other negative outcomes. With time and a supportive attitude, we can acclimate and welcome change. We may even look back and realize that the change, which initially caused us discomfort, opened a world of new possibilities.


Showing Compassion in Times of Conflict

_528A relationship breakup, workplace conflict, a feud with a family member or friend…these experiences can be difficult and may involve tense communications and stress. Most of us can recall a time when we felt that someone was causing us suffering, either intentionally or unintentionally. It can be challenging to see past the situation and the other person’s actions, which can color your view of them. It is easy to blame others for our feelings.

While some of us are content with being swept up in a drama, others would rather apply a higher-self perspective to conflict. For those of us who desire the latter, how can we show compassion to people we perceive as causing us suffering?

Try a perspective shift. Keep in mind that people who are hurting tend to hurt other people. However, it is up to us how we perceive our reality. We create our own hurt by what we say to ourselves about the other person. If we change our thoughts, our feelings will change.

Be aware of what you’re feeling about the situation with this person. When you feel anger, anxiety, fear, or any kind of stress, mentally say, “Stop!” and then visualize a stop sign. This will halt the body and mind from continuing to circulate non-constructive thoughts and feelings. Take a few deep breaths while you ask your body to release any tension. Then ask yourself:

  • What are the facts about this situation? We usually have a story attached to what the other person is doing or not doing. We guess what they are thinking and what their intentions are. Think of how a lawyer might present the facts of a case in court. Hearsay, inner dialogue, feelings, and predictions aren’t useful there, and neither are they to you. Separating fact from story is helpful in avoiding emotionally charged thinking.
  • How significant is this problem in the grand scheme of my life? How significant is this in relation to the timeline of the universe?While you may not prefer that someone is talking about you, being antagonistic, giving you the cold shoulder, etc., what are they really doing to you in this moment? Recognize that your thoughts about the other person are what are causing the feelings you don’t like. Shrinking the perceived enormity of your situation can allow you to regain perspective.

Focus in on the present. Usually, nothing “bad” is happening to us in the moment. We are thinking about the past or the future, which is causing us discomfort. Take a deep breath, let it out, and tell yourself, “All is well. Right here, right now.”

Show yourself love. In times of stress, it is even more important to practice self-love. Whether it’s walking in nature, getting a massage, losing yourself in a great book, taking a yoga class…Take time for yourself doing things that are enjoyable and nurturing. Here are some of my videos explaining how to use meditation, breathing techniques, and laughter yoga to de-stress and re-center.

Although you can’t control what someone else does, you can control how you process the experience and interact. I hope these points help you to release unsupportive feelings, as well a see the conflict from a more neutral standpoint. It is much easier to deal with these types of challenges when you are coming from a calm, clear place.

 


Shifting Your View Will Change Your Life

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Shifting Your View Will Change Your Life

In our culture, we are constantly reminded to set goals in all areas of our lives. In setting goals, we often create artificial deadlines and are encouraged to plan out steps to achieve our goals within the allotted time. Positive things can certainly come from setting goals however far too often, people who set goals feel a heightened sense of urgency and anxiety that becomes a negative force in their lives and minds. Thoughts of self-defeat creep in when deadlines are missed.

The purpose of this blog post is to show you a way in which you can reach for your dreams in a positive, meaningful way that transforms them into goals. What is your dream for yourself?

Whatever your dream or dreams may be, I want to show you a new path for reaching them. This path is not marked by deadlines, nor is it full of rigorous steps; rather it is a path that allows you to embrace the beauty of the daily journey.

The key to changing your dreams into goals is by shifting your mindset. I challenge you to shift yours. Instead of setting rigid deadlines for yourself, I want you to think of your life in a more fluid sense. I want you to look at each day, each moment as a gift – be in present time. What does this look like? It starts with your thoughts. You have to change your thinking from the negative, ‘if I don’t reach my goal, I don’t know what I’ll do,’ to the positive, ‘I have this precious moment, this wonderful day, what will I do with it?’ Choose to see the positive in yourself and in those you encounter. Enjoy the journey. Always live in the present rather than the future or the past.

If your dream is to enjoy a healthier lifestyle, start by envisioning it. What does it feel like to you? What is your role in this? What does your relationship with yourself look like? Think loving thoughts – toward your spirit and your body.

At first, thinking loving thoughts toward yourself and choosing to see the positive will be a conscious decision you make, moment by moment and day by day, but soon this becomes a part of you. You no longer need to consciously choose this mindset; instead, you simply do, as this is who you have become. I can’t wait for you to see what comes your way as you shift and grow. Please remember that you can shift your beliefs and see your dreams come true.