Tag: new year

Shedding Toxic Friends in the New Year

Life happens in seasons. The New Year tends to be a time when we evaluate our lives and make big decisions or changes. While this is a positive thing, it can also be confusing when the things we decide need changing are our friends.

Sometimes the people who have stayed in our life as friends become toxic over time. It doesn’t necessarily mean that they themselves are toxic individuals – just that they no longer serve a positive purpose in our life. Just as life happens in seasons, friendships happen in seasons, too.

A friend who may have been very close to you in a season when you needed them and they needed you is someone to cherish. But that relationship can sour for any number of reasons. Maybe you two just aren’t in the same place anymore. Maybe they aren’t being supportive as you try to make positive changes in your life or to break bad habits. Maybe they feel intimidated by you as you move forward with other positive, supportive friendships and romantic relationships.

Whatever your reason for feeling that a person may not be the friend they once were, “breaking up” with them is never going to be easy. Still, it’s important to remember there is only one you, and YOU, are the only one in charge of taking care of yourself. It may seem as though these friends need you, or you may feel an overwhelming sense of guilt for distancing yourself from the relationship. If you’ve carefully evaluated the relationship and deemed it hurtful or unhealthy, there is no reason to continue feel guilty.

A few symptoms of a toxic friend are:

  • They regularly and repeatedly tear you down with actions or words.
  • They don’t support the positive changes you’re making.
  • They encourage negative or destructive behavior.
  • They lack empathy.
  • They take advantage of your kindness.
  • They lie or act in an untrustworthy manner.

If you feel your friend fits these characteristics, or if the relationship is consistently one-sided, it’s okay to act in your best interest and shed the relationship. By doing this you give yourself permission to start fresh this year. You give yourself time to grow valuable relationships that positively contribute to your life. You never know when you’re going to find a wonderful new friendship in someone who is kind, encouraging, and supportive.

Happy December; make the most of a new month and season! 

Have You Been Told to ‘Become a New You’ in the New Year?

I’d like to encourage you to think critically about the ‘become a new you in the New Year’ notion. We’ve all heard it, right? While the phrase is cloaked in positivity, the idea of becoming a new you is actually rooted in negativity. It infers that who you are is not enough.

I challenge you to change your mindset from becoming a new you to becoming a new version of yourself in the New Year. Many of us tell ourselves this: ‘If I just make it through this holiday season, then I’ll emerge on the other side with the motivation to become a new person.’ What if, instead of limiting yourself to merely ‘making it through,’ you opened the door of abundance in your own life? Change your thinking to thriving instead of existing.

Did you know that setting your intention is the most effective catalyst for meaningful change? The power of the mind is astonishing. Let’s say your goal for the New Year is to enjoy a healthier lifestyle. The moment you decide to change your thinking from simply ‘making it through’ to ‘thriving,’ you begin to see open doors where there was once only dead-ends.

I want to give you a very basic example that can be applied to many circumstances and situations. Picture yourself at a holiday party. Holiday treats abound. If you were stuck in a negative mindset, the situation would likely end in you eating mindlessly, all the while telling yourself, “It’s okay, just make it through this holiday season – you’re going to be a new person in the New Year.” The problem with this thinking is that you are not giving yourself a manageable and positive path to success. How will you reach your goals if your negative thinking and habits don’t change?

Now, picture yourself getting ready for that party. You’re anticipating a spread of holiday indulgences and you want to enjoy yourself – so, you think ahead. Since you have decided to set your intention to enjoy a healthier lifestyle. Why wait until New Year’s Day to start? Won’t it be much more fulfilling to make small decisions and changes now through New Year’s Day, so that you have some momentum to keep going? You decide to have a healthy snack at home before the party so that once you’re there, you can enjoy your favorite things, but you don’t over do it, and afterwards, you feel great!

Yes, this is a very simple example, but what I want you to see is that it can be applied to any goals you are reaching for in the New Year. You can choose the healthier, more fulfilling path by thinking positively and planning ahead, or you can make it much more difficult by taking the dead-end path of negativity.

Also, no matter what your goal for the New Year might be, please take this to heart: You do not need to become a new person. You are unique. All of your life’s events and circumstances have helped form who you are. Why would you want to abandon that? I challenge you to create a new version of YOURSELF in the New Year!