How to be an Active Listener
Hearing and listening are different things. Hearing is passive; sounds come to us through our ears and we notice them. Listening, however, requires the brain to get involved. It’s a learned skill because it requires concentration, interpretation, and interaction. To really listen, we have to be present in the moment. In our busy world and […]
How to Resolve Conflict Through Communication
Disagreement is a natural occurrence in life—we all have different opinions, ways of doing things, personalities, and communication styles. However, if one or more of the persons involved don’t communicate openly, or let emotions take over, a disagreement can easily turn into conflict. Here are some suggestions for resolving conflicts in a respectful and productive […]
The Key of Communication
Have you ever imagined talking to someone beyond your words? Communicating through speech is our most common form of relating to each other; imagine if one day that changed. We’ve heard of being ‘telepathically connected’ to someone, usually a close friend, relative or lover, but what if everyone could take it a step beyond that? […]
How the Dalai Lama has Influenced My Thoughts on Human Relationships
How successful are the relationships in your life? Take a moment to reflect on a few of them— are they generally happy? Which are strained? And whether good or bad, consider, do you take enough time to give those bonds the care they deserve? What keeps you from sharing more love? Many times, we don’t […]
When Should I Move In?
At one time, I would have said that when you know you know so just jump. That was before I was a seasoned couples therapist and fully understood how important sharing the same values are for a relationship to work well over time. So, when do you know if a person shares your values? My […]
What Asking Questions Brings to Your Life
I was speaking with a friend on the subject of asking questions. He shared how at times in his life he refrained from asking questions for fear of appearing ignorant; I wonder how many of you have had this challenge? I then thought about how many of my clients have stopped themselves from moving forward […]
Dealing with Vexatious People
Each one of us has people in our lives that just make things a bit more difficult. They may be co-workers, acquaintances, friends, family members, or even our significant others. They come in many forms, but their behavior and their effect on us are the same—they drain our spirit, make us frustrated and doubtful. And […]
How Do You Know If You Are Co-Dependent?
Codependence is developed in childhood by how we perceive and receive love from our parents. When we come from dysfunctional homes as many people do; we are often given contradictory messages about love by our parents, such as: ‘I love you; ‘Go away’; ‘you can’t do anything right’; ‘I need you’; ‘I will be there […]
The Ex-Factor: How to Get Over It
It may seem impossible in the beginning, but you can find peace from the pain of a break up. Getting over your ex certainly depends upon the level of intimacy between the two of you as well as the amount of time you have spent together. Many people have a challenge letting go of […]
Successful Communications for Healthy Romantic Relationships
It’s everyone’s right to exercise their (positively-charged) power in a situation where they are made to feel uncomfortable, whether purposefully or accidentally. Many times, it’s easier than we think to get someone to see our point of view; we just have to make sure that we’re open and honest with them. Communications barriers build up […]