I was speaking
with a friend on the subject of asking questions. He shared how at times in his
life he refrained from asking questions for fear of appearing ignorant; I
wonder how many of you have had this challenge?
I then thought about how many of my clients have stopped themselves from
moving forward because they refrain from doing this or second-guess what they
ask before even getting it out of their mouth?
I’ve found that it has affected me. One of my challenges has been not asking
enough questions. Early in my career I had to learn to ask questions;
questioning was not ignorance, it was the beginning of knowledge.
In my life, I
have made mistakes due to not asking questions; letting my imagination guess
the answers instead of seeking the real truth. Getting comfortable with my own
internal answer and assuming it as truth, which is very different from reality,
may actually become a habit—which is unhealthy for us.
What about the
occasions that I did not ask questions for fear of offending the other
person? Perhaps I thought a question
would be disrespectful. Or not asking questions because I imagined ‘I know the
answer, I do not have to ask’.
How and when can
you identify with this challenge?
What do we get when we ask questions?
· Clarify ideas & situations
· Keeping relationships
· Get information
· Solve Problems & make decisions
· Think clearly & create strategies
· Negotiate & resolve conflicts
· Stimulate your mind
is all about asking questions. One technique that I teach couples immediately is
to stop ‘mind-reading’. Mind reading is thinking you know what your partner is
going to say or do without asking h/her—think of it this way, how many times
has someone made an assumption about something you were going to say or ask
that was incorrect? Yes, mind reading benefits no one.
unaware of small things that stress us, one of them can be the result of not
asking enough questions for the reasons that are highlighted here. Don’t let
that be something that affects you in a negative way.
is one of the prerequisites to enjoying your life and achieving your goals! Remember you don’t know what you don’t know. Be curious and