It’s everyone’s right to exercise their (positively-charged) power in a situation where they are made to feel uncomfortable, whether purposefully or accidentally. Many times, it’s easier than we think to get someone to see our point of view; we just have to make sure that we’re open and honest with them. Communications barriers build up when we believe we’re not being heard or understood. We shut down; start to build up walls; begin to care less and get to the point where we shut down all together. We may stop trying to fix the issue— at worst, just accepting things as they are.
Before these barriers begin to build for you—listen to your internal voice. It’s amazing how many times an answer can actually already be inside you. Think for a second, and examine the situation on the other foot. If your significant other believed that you were looking at men when you were on a date night, running errands, or just going through everyday life, how would you want them to approach it with you? Examine that choice, and see if it would work on the other side. Many times, intrinsically, we know how to handle issues—we just don’t know how to externalize the answer.
Finding your own voice is key. If you’ve got a relationship with strong communication skills, this may be easier for you. The bottom line, be honest, fair, and stick to the point—don’t get tied to heavily into emotions. Share your feelings concisely and clearly. Don’t demand a resolution; allow it to be a discussion, not an argument. It’s the expectations that you set up within the confines of your own relationship— not the parameters set by the outside world— that shape the happiness of your union, so stick to what you know to be true in your own relationship only.
What may work for a friend, aunt, mother or sister may not for you— it’s important to be selective in who you seek out advice from, especially from those close to you. The more often we allow outside influences to help us shape our decisions, the more power we take away from our own individual identity as a problem solver. Make sure that you’re setting yourself up for personal success that will help build your own esteem, and in turn, enhance the strength and success in the relationship with your partner.