Evaluating Your Relationships
We are social beings. We crave connection and relationships. Relationships can bring us much joy, fulfillment, and security. However, there are times when we have to decide whether we want to continue our involvement with a friend or significant other. How do you know when it’s not working for you? Counsel yourself like a friend. […]
How to be an Active Listener
Hearing and listening are different things. Hearing is passive; sounds come to us through our ears and we notice them. Listening, however, requires the brain to get involved. It’s a learned skill because it requires concentration, interpretation, and interaction. To really listen, we have to be present in the moment. In our busy world and […]
How to Resolve Conflict Through Communication
Disagreement is a natural occurrence in life—we all have different opinions, ways of doing things, personalities, and communication styles. However, if one or more of the persons involved don’t communicate openly, or let emotions take over, a disagreement can easily turn into conflict. Here are some suggestions for resolving conflicts in a respectful and productive […]
Why Healthy Boundaries Are Essential
“The most important distinction anyone can ever make in their life is between who they are as an individual and their connection with others.” ― Anné Linden Boundaries are necessary. Imagine a map of the world with no defined delineations from one country, state, province, city, or town on it…what a mess! Without boundaries, it […]
The Key of Communication
Have you ever imagined talking to someone beyond your words? Communicating through speech is our most common form of relating to each other; imagine if one day that changed. We’ve heard of being ‘telepathically connected’ to someone, usually a close friend, relative or lover, but what if everyone could take it a step beyond that? […]
When Should I Move In?
At one time, I would have said that when you know you know so just jump. That was before I was a seasoned couples therapist and fully understood how important sharing the same values are for a relationship to work well over time. So, when do you know if a person shares your values? My […]
How Do You Know If You Are Co-Dependent?
Codependence is developed in childhood by how we perceive and receive love from our parents. When we come from dysfunctional homes as many people do; we are often given contradictory messages about love by our parents, such as: ‘I love you; ‘Go away’; ‘you can’t do anything right’; ‘I need you’; ‘I will be there […]
Take Responsibility and Let Go
Instead of focusing on how you may have contributed to your relationship ending are you spending hours of your time analyzing why he/she acted the way they did? Overanalyzing is often bred from avoidance, thinking about our feelings and/or about understanding ourselves, personally without being self-reflective. How it is that we act in the ways […]
The Path of Relationships: Dealing with Loss
We oftenbelieve that relationships are supposed to be permanent, yet loss and grieving is a theme in our lives. Somewhere along our path someone dies or must be left behind. Loss of a relationship plays a significant part in all of our lives. Because many of us define ourselves by our relationships, we believe something […]
Satisfying Sexual Relationships: How to Make them Work
A satisfying sexual relationship is an important part of intimacy, which is what most people are actually looking for when they use the term chemistry. A first date is just an introduction to a person’s immediate personality— take them at face value. If you’re interested in what they have to say and feel respected and […]