Sex in Relationships is different than it is depicted on T.V. and movies. Seduction and erotic encounters in the media look so good because they are choreographed, written by and acted out by professionals. The goal is to look good and convey an emotion or impression to the viewer. They are relating to and for the camera.
The hot passionate romance/sex scenes that we see are the result of many takes, specialized lighting and makeup. Our favorite actors are indeed acting. They have a crowd of people around them, cameras and lights in their faces and other places! Consider if you would be able to have hot passionate sex with camera people, directors, producers and who knows how many other people watching, recording and telling you what to do. Well maybe some of you could.
What is most important here is that I am noticing that in my practice I am getting more and more couples of all ages where one or both of the people believe they are not having great sex because it is not ‘like’ what they see on TV or their favorite movie.
When we compare our experiences with the memory of what we have watched we are bound to be disappointed. When I ask if they enjoy sex with each other, most will say they do and some will say they love sex with their partner but think it ‘should’ be more passionate like on television. What do you think?
I think that television and movies are big source of disappointment for us if we compare our selves and our lives to the glamor and beauty that is portrayed in the media. Check out this documentary to see what I mean:
http://americathebeautifuldoc.com/original/
Cheers!
Brenda, what a great link you have provided! It is a terrific film, thank you!
the image of sex/romance in most cases is as UN-realistic and fake as the image of the “American” family in the 1950’s
I wish we were told this as we start sexually exploring…it would decrease the amount of disappointment and the insecurities that one may start to feel because what they are experiencing is not what they have been told/shown by the media.
Yes, it would be helpful, as the media can be deceiving. What is wonderful is when we grow and learn, regardless of our age.