How Do You Know If You Are Co-Dependent?
Codependence is developed in childhood by how we perceive and receive love from our parents. When we come from dysfunctional homes as many people do; we are often given contradictory messages about love by our parents, such as: ‘I love you; ‘Go away’; ‘you can’t do anything right’; ‘I need you’; ‘I will be there […]
Take Responsibility and Let Go
Instead of focusing on how you may have contributed to your relationship ending are you spending hours of your time analyzing why he/she acted the way they did? Overanalyzing is often bred from avoidance, thinking about our feelings and/or about understanding ourselves, personally without being self-reflective. How it is that we act in the ways […]
The Path of Relationships: Dealing with Loss
We oftenbelieve that relationships are supposed to be permanent, yet loss and grieving is a theme in our lives. Somewhere along our path someone dies or must be left behind. Loss of a relationship plays a significant part in all of our lives. Because many of us define ourselves by our relationships, we believe something […]
Satisfying Sexual Relationships: How to Make them Work
A satisfying sexual relationship is an important part of intimacy, which is what most people are actually looking for when they use the term chemistry. A first date is just an introduction to a person’s immediate personality— take them at face value. If you’re interested in what they have to say and feel respected and […]
Successful Communications for Healthy Romantic Relationships
It’s everyone’s right to exercise their (positively-charged) power in a situation where they are made to feel uncomfortable, whether purposefully or accidentally. Many times, it’s easier than we think to get someone to see our point of view; we just have to make sure that we’re open and honest with them. Communications barriers build up […]
Growing Intimate Relationships
As we enter into and exist in our adult lives, we begin to prepare for many things— establishing a satisfying career for ourselves, living on our own, purchasing property or our own car. We put much time into the preparations of these occasions but rarely put thought into what it means to be married. You […]
Why Small Moments Matter
Recently, The Intelligent Optimist sat down for a Q&A with Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche, head of a worldwide network of meditation centers, talking about optimism and fundament goodness—asking one very provocative question for our time: TIO: Can fundamental goodness be seen in the face of violence? SR: ‘Every moment presents an opportunity to recognize the core […]
Shifting Your View Will Change Your Life
Shifting Your View Will Change Your Life In our culture, we are constantly reminded to set goals in all areas of our lives. In setting goals, we often create artificial deadlines and are encouraged to plan out steps to achieve our goals within the allotted time. Positive things can certainly come from setting goals however […]
Have You Been Told to ‘Become a New You’ in the New Year?
I’d like to encourage you to think critically about the ‘become a new you in the New Year’ notion. We’ve all heard it, right? While the phrase is cloaked in positivity, the idea of becoming a new you is actually rooted in negativity. It infers that who you are is not enough. I challenge you […]
Gratitude, The Reality Changer
It’s true – gratitude has the power to change things. I would venture to say, that it serves at the catalyst to change one’s circumstances. It begins with choosing to be grateful, and that choice ignites a positive domino effect that leads to actual change. I know some of you must be thinking that I’m […]